Just say “Thanks”

“I work with wonderful people who support me. And, my beliefs are that the business needs to serve the family rather than the family serve the business.”
- Kathy Ireland, Model and Entrepreneur

I feel like I have been disconnected from the friends that believe in me the most. Lately, I haven’t been able to stop for coffee, schedule a lunch or make quite as many “hey how are you doing” phone calls. Keeping it together in these interesting times has taken some serious focus.

That’s the funny thing about focus. While totally necessary to excel in an area, it can put a damper on other ones – like noticing the people around you. You see, while I may feel disconnected, I actually am not. And realizing that is nothing short of a compliment to those around me without whom I could do nothing.

Lately, I have not been the supporter or the giver or the provider. Hence, the feeling of disconnect. I have been the needer and the taker. That has, in all honesty, led to some paranoid inadequacy feelings. However, what a slap in the face to those who are taking their time and effort to be there for me. Support comes from those who can out of goodwill not out of a need to create guilt in the receiver.

Today I encourage you to say just “Thank you.” No qualifiers, no fillers, no “oh you shouldn’t have how can I ever repay you” platitudes. Simply thank you. Stripped down, naked, pure gratitude. Appreciation that fills you up with what you needed and honors the person who is offering the gift. Watch, I’ll go first.

Thank you.

Two Months?!?!
Seriously?!?

Yes, seriously. It has in fact been two months since the last edition on TAT hit cyberspace. You have my sincerest apologies. But, I have no regrets.

TAT went on an unplanned hiatus due to the work overload of the producer. Something had to give – TAT was it.

Once TAT ceased to enter mailboxes, I started to get phone calls. What wonderful phone calls they were! You have no idea how much the encouragement to move forward and the support in my decisions meant to me.

As of May 1st, I have hired a full time assistant and she is fantastic! Just in the few days she has been in the office, I have seen a dramatic difference in, well, everything.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Help Yourself and Those Around You

“First it is necessary to stand on your own two feet. But the minute a man finds himself in that position, the next thing he should do is reach out his arms.”

- Kristin Hunter, writer

I am such a fan of personal responsibility and intestinal fortitude. I think we are a noble people when we exercise those traits and a burden to the earth when we do not. I can think of few things more important than taking ownership of your actions and consequences. And there is nothing more human than reaching out to those that need it.

So often we are given the ability to turn ourselves into victims. We are given undeserved outs from situations that we caused. The down side of this is that we will continue to make the same missteps as there is no lesson in a free pass. The unintended consequence is that we become less able to find fulfillment in accomplishments as we are not responsible for our actions.

With this lack of personal responsibility, the trend has been to say “somebody should do something” versus “I can do something.” We assume that an inflated government and over committed community programs will solve the ills of the society. The faceless “somebody” allows us to be comfortable in our own detached state.

Today I encourage you to continue fighting the good fight. You are one of those people who take credit for your place in the world and the decisions you made to get there – both good and bad. You get where you are going not by stepping on others but by bringing them along with you. You are active in creating a world better than the one you were born into. This journey may seem lonely and exhausting. You may feel like you are not making a difference. You are.

It is that time of the Year

Many of serve our fellow man all year long. However, the needs of many are more deeply felt this time of year and the opportunity to help is more widely available. Today I will highlight two.

Most local communities have their version of an empty stocking fund. These groups sponsor families that have found themselves in circumstance that will make this holiday season hard. Almost any search engine will lead you to the correct venue to locate organizations that are helping out less fortunate families this year.

Chicken of the Sea has sponsored a jingle contest. The winning entry will have a truckload of tuna delivered to their food bank. You can vote for the Savannah entry here. And, because it is a good cause, I will tell you that the link will also take you to wherever your local area is. I would like Savannah to win. I would love for more people to participate.

Risk the Blossom

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit that I almost changed out today’s quote. Not that it isn’t wonderful, because it is most certainly that. But because it almost seemed too big. It felt almost too much. The words and thoughts just hang out sorta stuck in my throat.

Have you ever done that? Thought about walking away from something because it just seemed to big? Stood there staring in the face of one of the most amazing opportunities you have ever had and if you could breathe, it would all go a lot better? Talk about a gut check. In that moment you weight the odds of moving forward or bailing out. You decide which one you think you can more easily live.

Hopefully there always comes a point where you can’t help but burst forth into the person, into the place, that you want to be. When the knowledge of the potential refuses to take a back seat to fear and apprehension any longer. Hopefully, there always comes a time for the bud to blossom.

Today I want to encourage you to take a walk through your garden. Are the things that are important to you planted there? Have you let the weeds spring up? Is it all brussel sprouts and no wild flowers? Is the ground packed so tight that new seedlings can’t push through? Is today the day?

Do you Non-Profit?

I know some of the most amazing folks that do it big for local and national nonprofits. They know that this space of TAT welcomes their announcements.

I also know many folks who contribute to civic and charitable organizations on a regular basis as a member of the community. You guys are welcome to this spot as well.

Sometimes there is even a spot for commercial stuff. If you are having a grand opening or an anniversary, there may be room for that.

I would love to find ways to support those who have been so supportive of me. So, drop me an email and we will see what we can do.

Trail Blazing

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

I grew up in rural Georgia. My friends and I had lots of woods and unchartered ground to play and ride bikes through all day long. Even then, and more so now, being in the woods makes me a bit apprehensive. Noises, directions, critters…I can do it and be tough about it, but I don’t go seeking the opportunity, if you know what I mean.

When I got out of the military after 11 years, the common thought was to go get a government job that called for my specific training. Steady salary, regular hours, good benefits…it was a sweet deal. But I had a dream of living life on my terms and that did not include working for anybody else. I had to see what else was out there.

Enough about me, you say, what’s the point? Glad you asked. The point is that leaving the path to chart your own trail is not the point. It is a great gut check and a vital first step, but it is not the main thing. The point is that once you have made the decision to blaze the way – a real decision with honest reasons and great intentions – you keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of obstacle or second thoughts. Going where there is no path is easy. Leaving a trail and creating effectual change requires focus, tenacity and an unwavering sense of ability in yourself.

Today I want to encourage you to examine your decision to blaze a trail. Remember why you learned that new thing, started that business or made those decisions to try something different. Remember why it was important to you. Think about all the reasons you know you can do it. Remember that you knew before you started that there would be some rough spots and you resolved then, and you resolve again now, to not let that stop you. You are Tuesday’s Warrior – you can make it happen.

Baseball is going to the Dogs

I love baseball. It thrills me that Savannah has a minor league team (even if they are a farm team for the Mets). I appreciate when the Sand Gnats, and organizations like them get involved in the community.

So I wanted to pass along that Thursday, June 26th will be Coastal Pet Rescue night at Grayson Stadium. To celebrate the work of Coastal Pet Rescue volunteers, a real dog will catch the first pitch and there will be a few dogs looking for new homes.

If you are interested in attending, you can purchase tickets in advance through Coastal Pet Rescue with 50% of the proceeds benefiting the organization. You can find more information online.

Purpose, Intention and Great Blogging

Let me tell you about the neatness that was Blog Savannah UnConference ‘08. I got to meet some of the best and brightest in Savannah

• Scott and Andy Larson
• Moon Dreams and Day Beams
• Shawn Allison
• Betsy Yates

And connect with some I already knew

• Chris and Lisa Cree
• Dr. Judy
• Fitz Haile

It was a phenom time. I was most excited to be able to connect with other mommy bloggers during the the working mommy blogger breakout session. I had the opportunity to discuss purpose and intention with some wonderful smart mommies.

• Ginger
• Jessica
• Dizzy Girl
• Southern Mamas
• Crazy Lady
• Dolores

The neat thing about an UnConference is you can just discuss. As the UnSpeakers, Ginger introduced herself and I introduced myself. We discovered that we blogged with different purpose and intention – and both were good. As the discussion took off around the room, you found a lot of different intentions and purposes – and they were all good.

Some of us were blogging with a scrapbook feel. Others were looking for teachable moments. Some were supporting other bloggers as a research. All were concerned about our kids and their privacy. We talked a lot about how much is too much and where do you draw the line.

The moral of the story is that they all blogged with integrity. They focused on purpose and they lived by their own intention. It was a great opportunity to be reminded of the importance of these things in blogging.

I would love to hear how you keep them integrated into your blog…

Title Me This

Steve Farber raised an interesting conversation about a month ago that I have just now happened upon. After polling the audience for suggestions on the title of his new book (The winner being Greater Than Yourself), he brought up the topic of our titles. What is the answer to, when many of us are so mulit-faceted, the question, “What do you do?”

He also asked the very poigant question revolving around the creative titling and whether or not it is all getting to be a bit much. Is calling the receptionist the “Director of First Impressions” catchy and motivating, or just plain trying to hard? I can tell people (and have) that I do whatever I want to as my self employed status has offered some fairly wide opportunities. That conversation was very well recieved and resulted in me being titled in a uber creative way as a “Realeblogoachmnist” by Chris Cree. I have had to table that idea as it is a bit long on the business card and awkward in the mouth Seriously, as accurate as “I do what I want” may be, is it effective or off putting?

Consider it for a minute…think of all the things you do. Now, for the sake of conversation, I am speaking professionally. Trying to tie in the personal husband/wife, father/mother, friend/relative thing is just too much. When you are talking to folks in a networking, professional, or just getting to know you situation – What do you do?

So, the conversation, like our lives, is diverse. What do you title yourself? How do you feel about creative titles? Is it different depending on the audience? How do you feel when you come into contact with the Director of First Impressions, The Realeblogoachmnist, or the Chief Fun and Excitement Director? Would you rather just talk to the receptionist?

WE meme

Liz Fuller writes a great blog at More Than WE Know. Her blog is dedicated to Women Entrepreneurs.

She has Meme’ed me with the 7 Facts About Me challenge. Here are the rules

1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself
3. Tag 7 random people and include links to their blogs
4. Let each person know they have been tagged and comment on their blog.

Alas, I have been tagged before. But, as Liz saw it fit to call me “multi-faceted,” I feel that I must be able to come up with seven more things. This also means that when I tag you, you are obligated to comply regardless of previous participation. I am sure you are interesting enough. How do I know? I read your blogs on a daily basis.

My previous entries are listed here – you can check out the explanations at their original home should you feel so inclined.

1. My faith is a journey
2. I still battle with the mean things kids say
3. I have horrid fashion sense. My husband is my saving grace in this
4. My favorite food is birthday cake
5. I used to love going to the gym
6. My kids and I all have Hawaiian middle names
7. I hate the way I look in photographs and sound in audio recording
8. Coloring my hair is one of my favorite things to do
9. Children are my passion
10. Rocky Balboa is my pop icon hero
11. My husband is my BFF
12. I am addicted to cashews and Webkinz
13. I am really glad my folks are my folks

Now, on the the new seven

1. Shallow politics grate my nerves. I won’t go much deeper than that – at least not just yet
2. If it never made me dime, procured a client, or provided anything material of value, I would still write
3. I lust after the college degree I am trying desperately to finish
4. My house is consistently messy. I have tried several times to get it in order. Every time I pick it up, it falls back down. Maybe it’s because I have four kids. Maybe it’s because I am incredibly busy doing stuff I actually enjoy. Maybe it’s because I am a pack rat
5. I am a pack rat. I hate throwing stuff away. It is emotionally exhausting to declutter. I think it is a part of my DNA
6. I don’t drink water – hardly ever. Maybe at the gym…maybe. I could drink coffee and diet coke all the time. Health implications I am sure, but, it is my vice
7. Blogging blows my mind. I can hardly believe the relationships I have created since becoming involved with this venue. I have learned so much about life outside and inside of me. It has been a phenom experience.

On to my tags (please refer to the “no pass given simply because you have done it before clause indicated above.)

Southern Mama
Robyn McMaster
Melinda Zook
Lisa Gates
Nettie Hartsock
Mariana Wagner
Vicki Moore

Have fun!

Going Big, Generosity, and Living Fearlessly

Just when you think a problem is too big.

Just when you assume generosity doesn’t pay off.

Just when you stop acting because of fear.

Happy Thanksgiving

I would be curious to know how many Thanksgiving posts are published today. More importantly – I would love to know how many have been posted on other days of the year.

This bloggy journey has been a wonderful one. I have met some incredible people, I have made great friends, and I have learned a lot about myself. How very Thankful I am for all these things.

It is now time to finish up my to do list so that the rest of the day can be spent with family. However, I hope we will all decide that the flood of Thanksgiving post should not be limited to one day of the year. I for one have been too guilty for too long in overlooking the importance of a “just because” Thank you.

Time for Action

My heart is broken over at The Chaos for my dear friend Lani Anglin.  She lost her brother yesterday.  Her words are here.

Here at Life, I am passing on Greg Swann’s call to action.

Aaron Anglin is survived by a wife and two very young daughters. The way I’m reading things, he died without life insurance, which puts those three ladies on a very hard road.

If you can spare something for them, put it in the form of negotiable funds — cash, cashier’s check or money order — and overnight it to:

Aleisha Anglin
  c/o Lani Anglin
  2719 Costa Azul Cove
  Leander, TX
  78641

April is working on setting up a donation account with Bank of America, and I’ll amend this post when that account becomes available.

But: I will promise you that there are people who will want to be paid now, and this young family will have immediate and ongoing needs. There was a time in your life when fate could have hit you this hard. Now is your chance to redeem that good fortune.

Thanks, Greg.

Lani, our prayers are with you now and our help is on the way.

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