“A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things.”
- Rear Admiral Grace Hopper (1906-1992)

As a Naval electronic tech, I I heard a lot about Admiral Hopper. She was a pioneer in computer technology development. More interesting to me is the era in which she lived and accomplished so much as a woman. I can only assume obstacles where far more numerous. The women of the early 21st century would do well to remember the tenacity displayed by the women of the early 20th century. In fact we would all do well to reflect on the champions of our past.

Often we find those who have gone before us that inspire us to greater things. We concentrate heavily on the accomplishments and thrill at the journey they took throughout their life. We honor the challenges they overcame and admire their ability to move forward regardless of obstacles.
However, few of us translate these experiences into an example of what we can do for ourselves. For some reason, there is a gap between what we believe what others can achieve and we can accomplish ourselves. It is as if we assume those who have gone before us have some unknown superpower or possess a secret that they didn’t share. They could do all those things, but we can’t.

Today I encourage you to remember that no ship worth is building is meant to stay in port. And no life worth living is compelled by fear and apprehension. Your inner warrior appreciates the accomplishments of those who have gone before you. That warrior is anxious to be among the ranks of those who have sailed fearlessly. Pull up the anchor and be that person who inspires. The potential is in you.

Tis the Season

I will go ahead and admit that I am not crazy about all the hubbub that surrounds Christmas. The stress and loss of focus moves away from my idea of the purpose of the season. However, it never fails to warm my heart to watch those who do embody what this time of year is all about.

Next week, I am going to try to fill this column with contacts. If you have a resource, charity, toy drive…whatever…. drop me a line and let me know.

I look forward to working with you to make the holiday a little brighter for someone else.

“First it is necessary to stand on your own two feet. But the minute a man finds himself in that position, the next thing he should do is reach out his arms.”

- Kristin Hunter, writer

I am such a fan of personal responsibility and intestinal fortitude. I think we are a noble people when we exercise those traits and a burden to the earth when we do not. I can think of few things more important than taking ownership of your actions and consequences. And there is nothing more human than reaching out to those that need it.

So often we are given the ability to turn ourselves into victims. We are given undeserved outs from situations that we caused. The down side of this is that we will continue to make the same missteps as there is no lesson in a free pass. The unintended consequence is that we become less able to find fulfillment in accomplishments as we are not responsible for our actions.

With this lack of personal responsibility, the trend has been to say “somebody should do something” versus “I can do something.” We assume that an inflated government and over committed community programs will solve the ills of the society. The faceless “somebody” allows us to be comfortable in our own detached state.

Today I encourage you to continue fighting the good fight. You are one of those people who take credit for your place in the world and the decisions you made to get there – both good and bad. You get where you are going not by stepping on others but by bringing them along with you. You are active in creating a world better than the one you were born into. This journey may seem lonely and exhausting. You may feel like you are not making a difference. You are.

It is that time of the Year

Many of serve our fellow man all year long. However, the needs of many are more deeply felt this time of year and the opportunity to help is more widely available. Today I will highlight two.

Most local communities have their version of an empty stocking fund. These groups sponsor families that have found themselves in circumstance that will make this holiday season hard. Almost any search engine will lead you to the correct venue to locate organizations that are helping out less fortunate families this year.

Chicken of the Sea has sponsored a jingle contest. The winning entry will have a truckload of tuna delivered to their food bank. You can vote for the Savannah entry here. And, because it is a good cause, I will tell you that the link will also take you to wherever your local area is. I would like Savannah to win. I would love for more people to participate.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

- Mark Twain

Think about the last time you attended a conference, workshop, retreat, sermon – anything that challenged you to think in a big way and effect a positive change in your life. At the time, you felt profoundly altered. You might have made checklists, voice notes, game plans – whatever. You were just ready to make life better for yourself and those around you.

If you are like most of us, you probably didn’t even get to lunch on the first day before some small thinker starting poking holes and planting doubt. Next thing you know, you’ve convinced yourself that you were crazy to even think that big, the whole plan was ridiculous, you were never enough to begin with and you crawl back in your box. The small thinker feels very accomplished and the world loses out on the wonderful impact you had planned.

How frustrating! Why do people do that? More importantly, why do we let them? We have let a person we wouldn’t trust to organize a book shelf dictate what we are and aren’t capable of. Seriously?

The amazing thing is that, while this sabotage is occurring, you probably had multiple folks who are way cooler than that other flake encouraging you. They know that you are capable of all that and more. They look for ways to help and support. Most importantly, they believe in you and they tell you so.

Today I want to encourage you get back out of your box and dare the small thinker to poke holes. Commit before you come out that you will not allow the small thinker enough face time to give his less than helpful opinion. Instead, seek out your fellow warriors. You already know who they are. Accept their encouragement. Resist the urge to shrug off the compliment. Look for opportunities to return the favor. With all this greatness running around, the small thinker never gets a foot hold.

Congrats to The Busy Woman of the Year!

And we aren’t talking about busy just for the sake of being busy. We are talking about putting your sneakers on and getting it done.

Kris Rice founded Coastal Children’s Advocacy Center in 1994. The Center provides services for children who have been abused or witnesses to violent activity. She provided counseling at Ground Zero. She and her husband are foster parents.

I would like to extent a huge thanks to Kris for all the work that she does for those who cannot do it for themselves. As an admirer of children myself, I deeply appreciate the selflessness of Kris and others like her that answer the call everyday.

And to the Little Black Book and all the sponsors for this amazing event. Kudos for recognizing those in the community who are making a difference in a big way. May we all follow the example of offering up of time and resources to leaving this place a little better off than the way we found it.

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
-African Proverb

I watched my two year old eat an apple yesterday. She was given a slice and proceeded to stick the whole thing in her mouth. Didn’t work out too well and it ended up in my hand. Hmm.

Because she had been successful eating apples when given it whole, we went back to that method. She knew she couldn’t put that whole thing in her mouth and began consuming it, one bite at a time. She ate the whole thing. Interesting.

I have crazy big ideas. I have some pretty significant responsibilities. So do you. There are times when I have made a go at one of those enormous sized projects. I am so excited about the prospect that I try to tackle it all at once, only to choke on it and spit it out in the trash. Other times, the bigness of it all is undeniable and I convince myself that I am “not enough” for the job. These times I don’t even try. Either way, I get none of the apple.

Opportunities of condensed learning and inspiration can be like this too. Ever been to a seminar and tried to remodel your entire yard, kitchen, life, the next day? You’ve seen that the improvement works. Why not implement all of it in one big slice of a bite? Because you will choke and it will all end up in the trash.

Today I want to encourage you cut yourself some slack. Unless you have some really cool super powers I don’t know about, you are subject to the same laws of time and and physics as the rest of us. Time will not warp itself for you. Most often, one step at a time is the most effective. You are amazingly talented, incredibly capable and immensely deserving. Just move through the process, one delicious bite at a time.

Big eWomenNetwork Thanks!

I will be talking about Dallas for a minute or two longer. You just have to forgive me. I am still trying to unpack – both figuratively and literally. Because I have not yet had the chance to connect with all the folks I wanted to, here are a few thanks in the interim.

Big thanks to those who went with me and the best roommate ever! To the one that made me feel like a cool kid. To the one that inspired. To the one that dared me to impress myself. To the one who encouraged while listening to my kids in background. To the one who knew I had it in me and made me say so. And to all the others who made my trip to Dallas one that I will not soon forget. You have no idea and I am not sure yet how to tell you.

So instead, I will just keep putting one word in front of the other and hope in the process, you just know.

“People will say things that sting. They sting more when I am raw from my own inner inquisition.”

-Tama Kieves, This Time I Dance!

During Marci Shimoff’s keynote talk at the eWomenNetwork conference, I heard some startling numbers that I don’t doubt one bit. We, as individuals, have 60,000 thoughts a day, 95% of them are repeat thoughts and 80% are negative. Hear that. We think a lot of stuff, over and over again, and most of it is bad. Is it any wonder some of us didn’t feel like getting out of bed today?

I am thinking about how last TAT I told you how nervous I was to be going to Dallas to begin with and that it probably stemmed from a sense of insecurity. Wow! Wanna guess how many of those 60,000 thoughts consisted of negative self talk that reinforced that idea? It is amazing what we allow our inner selves to say. Horrid things that we would not for a minute stand for if said by others out loud. But, we will say it to ourselves, about ourselves, over and over. Interesting.

I have made the commitment to spend a great deal of energy investigating Marci’s thoughts on happiness and Tama’s thoughts on honoring the inner person. Why? Because most everything we come into contact with and the way we feel about it when we get there is not happenstance, but the result of our own personal choice. My personal choice. And 80% negative is not going to be my choice.

Today I want to encourage you talk honestly with yourself about how close to that 80% you are. Consider how that affects you and those around you. Know that this is an exercise I have done and have committed to improving upon. If you need the support, I am here. The time for beating yourself down is over. Life is far too short to be your own worst critic. Time is too valuable to paralyze yourself. Your talents are too important to be trampled on by the lies in your head. You are a warrior!

Getting Ready!

After five wonderful days in Dallas at an incredible conference, I am still trying to process all the information I took in. Some of that is just going to be mental work work me. Some of it will be involve discussion with others.

TAT was presented as A Year of Tuesdays journal format in Dallas. It was very well received and I appreciate those of you who helped me with that. Now, I bring two major pieces of feedback from people who make their living doing this kind of thing. I’d love to get your take on them.

The quotes – they should either be mine or not be there at all.

The layout – to keep it from becoming outdated so quickly, group by subject and not by actual date (i.e. January 1, 2009).

I would love to hear what you think!

“No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.”

-Edmund Burke, A Philosophical Inquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful (1756)

Tomorrow, I fly to Dallas for my first ever eWomen Network conference. The resources, connections and possibilities are endless. I have some big goals for this conference and have been looking forward to it for a long time. Now that it is tomorrow, I will be honest with you, I am a little nervous.

It’s funny that I even say that here. Quite a public place to out an insecurity. But, I think that’s just what needs to happen. Go ahead and address it for what it is so that I can effectively deal with it now so it doesn’t mess me up over the next five days. Fear will trip me up every time.
Fear, or it’s little helper nervous, causes me to do strange things – none of which are productive. It is a big waste of time, money and resources to be unproductive. Moreover, it just isn’t who I am. I am not in the habit of not being who I am.

I think we all have times like this – opportunities that are golden and the little butterflies that go along with it. I don’t think it is lack of confidence so much as a healthy appreciation of the opportunities that lay ahead.

Today I want to encourage you to find your center – that place where you are on the top of your game and productive. Remember who you are and why you are. Sure, there are going to be times where nerve, even fear, peak around the corner, but don’t let them hang out. You are never as good as when you have full confidence in that inner warrior to move through these situations flawlessly.

Look Out!

Coming soon to an inbox near you! The all new Turn Around Tuesday!

We have been talking for a few weeks about TAT suggestions, feedback and whatnot. You all have really been wonderful and incredibly supportive. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Because of that support (and a few other events), TAT is getting a makeover. Of course, I think it’s great just the way it is, but every girl needs a new do once in a while.

So, be on the look out over the next two weeks. You’ll see some pretty fantastic changes, interesting announcements and, hopefully, little bits that make your Tuesday better!

“I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”

-Martha Washington (1732 – 1802)

I love that thought – determined to be happy. Sounds like such a contradiction in efforts. Happy seems so carefree and determined is so intentioned. Interesting and brilliant! A complete commitment to take control over one’s attitude. For those of you who didn’t know, being happy isn’t always easy.

Whatever the situation…guess that falls in line with the old adage that an untested virtue is no virtue at all. I suppose it is easy to say you are a happy person if there is always tons of stuff to happy about. Guess it’s not so hard to look on the bright side when that is all there is. Pull it off when things are tough, then you have accomplished something.

Disposition not circumstance – think about that for a while. Understand that this speaks to the idea that what is going on is not nearly as important as your attitude towards what’s going on. This is an important truth. It takes all of the power out of the thing you can’t control (circumstance) and places it squarely in that thing which you can (attitude). We can allow ourselves to be victims or circumstance or warriors of attitude. The choice is there every day for the making.

Today I want to encourage you to place more emphasis on attitude than circumstance. I am not saying denial or rose colored glasses. I am saying attitude and perspective. There is nothing you can do about things you can’t control except exert a positive influence on it using those things that you can. I am not saying easy or necessarily fun. I am saying beneficial and totally worth it.

You Just Can’t Plan for That

I got word last week that a local nonprofit working with at risk youth ran into some difficulty – or rather, difficulty ran into them.

Preparing for a youth album release party and raising money a trip to Washington DC in July to compete in the Brave New Voices International Youth Poetry Slam, All Walks of Life (AWOL) ended up in the rain. Then they ended up staring down a tornado. Seriously, you can’t plan for that.

While everyone was ok and that’s the important thing, everything that was meant to raise money for this organization was destroyed. If you can help, please do. You can find more information by calling AWOL at 912.341.8306.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit that I almost changed out today’s quote. Not that it isn’t wonderful, because it is most certainly that. But because it almost seemed too big. It felt almost too much. The words and thoughts just hang out sorta stuck in my throat.

Have you ever done that? Thought about walking away from something because it just seemed to big? Stood there staring in the face of one of the most amazing opportunities you have ever had and if you could breathe, it would all go a lot better? Talk about a gut check. In that moment you weight the odds of moving forward or bailing out. You decide which one you think you can more easily live.

Hopefully there always comes a point where you can’t help but burst forth into the person, into the place, that you want to be. When the knowledge of the potential refuses to take a back seat to fear and apprehension any longer. Hopefully, there always comes a time for the bud to blossom.

Today I want to encourage you to take a walk through your garden. Are the things that are important to you planted there? Have you let the weeds spring up? Is it all brussel sprouts and no wild flowers? Is the ground packed so tight that new seedlings can’t push through? Is today the day?

Do you Non-Profit?

I know some of the most amazing folks that do it big for local and national nonprofits. They know that this space of TAT welcomes their announcements.

I also know many folks who contribute to civic and charitable organizations on a regular basis as a member of the community. You guys are welcome to this spot as well.

Sometimes there is even a spot for commercial stuff. If you are having a grand opening or an anniversary, there may be room for that.

I would love to find ways to support those who have been so supportive of me. So, drop me an email and we will see what we can do.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

I grew up in rural Georgia. My friends and I had lots of woods and unchartered ground to play and ride bikes through all day long. Even then, and more so now, being in the woods makes me a bit apprehensive. Noises, directions, critters…I can do it and be tough about it, but I don’t go seeking the opportunity, if you know what I mean.

When I got out of the military after 11 years, the common thought was to go get a government job that called for my specific training. Steady salary, regular hours, good benefits…it was a sweet deal. But I had a dream of living life on my terms and that did not include working for anybody else. I had to see what else was out there.

Enough about me, you say, what’s the point? Glad you asked. The point is that leaving the path to chart your own trail is not the point. It is a great gut check and a vital first step, but it is not the main thing. The point is that once you have made the decision to blaze the way – a real decision with honest reasons and great intentions – you keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of obstacle or second thoughts. Going where there is no path is easy. Leaving a trail and creating effectual change requires focus, tenacity and an unwavering sense of ability in yourself.

Today I want to encourage you to examine your decision to blaze a trail. Remember why you learned that new thing, started that business or made those decisions to try something different. Remember why it was important to you. Think about all the reasons you know you can do it. Remember that you knew before you started that there would be some rough spots and you resolved then, and you resolve again now, to not let that stop you. You are Tuesday’s Warrior – you can make it happen.

Baseball is going to the Dogs

I love baseball. It thrills me that Savannah has a minor league team (even if they are a farm team for the Mets). I appreciate when the Sand Gnats, and organizations like them get involved in the community.

So I wanted to pass along that Thursday, June 26th will be Coastal Pet Rescue night at Grayson Stadium. To celebrate the work of Coastal Pet Rescue volunteers, a real dog will catch the first pitch and there will be a few dogs looking for new homes.

If you are interested in attending, you can purchase tickets in advance through Coastal Pet Rescue with 50% of the proceeds benefiting the organization. You can find more information online.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

- Amelia Earhart (1897-1937)

I thought I had used this quote before. I am glad I had not, because I would have used it again. Today, it is just what I need to hear, understand and remember. After 60+ TATs, I have learned that if I need it, someone else probably does too.

We spend a lot of time together talking about big dreams, big ideas and big goals. We would be remiss to overlook the need for a big decision. The single most important thing we, I, can do is get our, my, mind right. Once the decision is made, and made for real – down in your gut where all unmovable decisions are made, you are unstoppable. I am unstoppable.

Very often we allow fear to come in a play tricks on our mind. I love the characterization of fear as a “paper tiger.” That means I can dump it in a shredder and be on about my way. When we have set our minds to accomplishing big decisions and big goals, that action requires complete focus. We cannot afford to be distracted by or waste any of our resources on indecision, doubt or fear.

Today I want to encourage you to take out your paper tiger shredder and spend some quality time with it. While it may be difficult to prevent fear from ever popping up, we must remember that it must not be allowed to linger around our decisions. Remember that you are capable and ready to own those things that you have decided to accomplish. One other thing, it may be helpful to pick up the phone and encourage somebody else to do the same.

Patience and Participation

I want to take a minute to thank you all for all the encouragement during this time of growth and change. I used to envy the butterfly – the way it entered its cocoon and emerged transformed. I didn’t realize how much work that was!

There is still some envy there. How nice it would be to put myself away and focus on nothing but change and growth, not to come out until I was ready! But, there are still a host of other things that must be done at the same time.

Your patience while we get it all done and your participation in the pursuit is much appreciated. Keep it up! The deadline is fast approaching!