Turn Around Tuesday

“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” – Doris Lessing, 2007 Nobel Prize Winner

So, I didn’t know who Doris Lessing was until today. But, as soon as I read her quote, I had to look her up. Sounded very Rocky-esqe when he told his kid, “Let me tell you something you already know.”

Being told something you already know can be irritating. Ask my six year old. She’ll sigh real deep, lean her head back a bit, and say exasperatedly, “I knnnooowww.” Then she has to be reminded about her attitude and we move on.

Being told something you already know can also be energizing, comforting, and refreshing. It can increase your confidence through confirmation. It can remind you gently of important tidbits forgotten. It can renew your sense of direction with a fresh look at the map. Learning something you already know can be the highlight of your day.

Telling somebody what you already know they know can be the hardest job of all. Why? Because you already know how irritating that can be. But forgetfulness and complacency need reminding and redirecting. And it is up to us to provide it when needed and accept it when thoughtfully given. If we are friends, you would tell me if I had broccoli in my teeth. This is no different.

Don’t blow off an opportunity to learn something because you think it’s something you already know. Don’t pass up the opportunity to share because you think you have nothing new to add. Something may enter your brain in a new and exciting way. You may have an angle, an insight, a tone of voice that gives new meaning to an old topic.

One of the most special things about relationships is the sharing of information that inspires us to be better for ourselves and each other. What do you have to share today?

Taking a minute to put a call out to my Richmond Hill readers

I know that there are many of you that are faithful TAT readers and do not live anywhere near Richmond Hill. I am sorry, but I have to segregate us for just a second.

If you live, work, play, in Richmond Hill, I would like to profile you on

We can talk about whatever you want to talk about (as long as we all remember this is a family friendly site). Promote a cause, a business, a person – name it, let’s do it!

If you flip through the site you’ll see articles on local politics, business, and people. Soon, you’ll see what it looks like when I scale a big ol’ rock wall! Hopefully, we will also see you!

Rapid Fire Learning | October 2007

Looking back on this month to get together 5 things that I have learned was enlightening and a bit painful. October was an incredibly stressful month. But I will not complain. I will learn (rapidly) and decrease my stress for November.

1. Mom is tougher than the postman – But do not underestimate the power of the illness or its lasting effect when it cycles through your home and sets up camp in your body. Sometimes bulldogging through it instead of taking the down time that you really need can actually be more time costly…which leads to #2

2. Priority is a must – Steve couldn’t have said it any better. Not properly employing this habit exponentially increases stress. This is a habit I need to make better use of…which leads right into #3

3. Schedules that are too fluid will leak – Do I love My Beautiful Chaos? You bet I do! But, out of control chaos lacks balance and anything out of balance tips over…which leads to #4

4. Clutter throws the best balance and spills all over the place. Clutter is loud, distracting, depressing, and counter productive. It is also infectious. Clutter in my house will move to my office, will grow in my schedule, will infect my brain, and fill up my heart. I need to clear it out…so, finally, #5

5. Separating the wheat from the chaff is easier said than done. I’ll discuss this further later (Read – as soon as I get my mind wrapped around what I mean). In the meantime, I’d love to hear what, if anything, that statement says to you.

Turn Around Tuesday

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.”
- James Thurber (1894-1961), Humorist

One thing anybody who has known me for any length of time can tell you – I am fairly open with my short comings. Here’s the one I’ll share with you today.

I talk a lot – especially when I am nervous or around new people. Worse, I can get loud and silly. I will pause a moment while my friends that love me at least pretend to be shocked.

I don’t mind talking. I am usually comfortable doing it. I typically present myself well, and I learn a lot about what I think when I hear what it sounds like out loud.

But talking is not the best way to learn. You and I both know that it is listening. Not hearing, not head nodding – real deal listening. There are few things that offer a greater opportunity for true growth and learning than being engaged with another person.

I had the opportunity to discuss the importance of relationship building with a friend today over lunch. A great thing happened. I talked and I listened. And, while we have a great relationship, I think it grew. We both realized we were on the same page with each other and our clients. It’s all about the relationship. It’s all about being a good listener.

Today’s encouragement is for myself (and you too if you need it). I can listen more and talk less. I can ask real questions and listen for the real answers. I can hear more words than I speak. I will not shy away for the things that need improvement. I embrace the opportunity to be better today than I was yesterday.

The challenge for you is to help me and each other. What techniques do you use to ensure you are a great listener?

Is this not your area of weakness? How do you learn where your opportunity for improvement rests and how to be better today. Don’t let these situations irritate you – let them inspire you to stretch and strive for greatness!

National Make a Difference Day is Saturday!

In case you’ve missed some of the last couple of blog posts, let me take a minute and let you all in on my biggest passion – children. They are the best hope for anything and they only thing I am an advocate for. Therefore, it is my pleasure to let you all know about AMBUCS and a wonderful opportunity to participate in Make a Difference Day.

AMBUCS, among other things, provides specially made bikes for children with disabilities. This Make a Difference Day, Savannah AMBUCS will be sponsoring the Exceptional Bowling League that enables adults with a variety of disabilities to participate in bowling at the Victory Lanes from 10am -12 noon. The bowlers range in age from 16 to over 60.

Go check out the website or contact me for more information.

*Photo credit to Kansir

Not liking the Plan B

Let me start today by explaining that I don’t think “failure” is a bad word. To me, it means, “I stretched and pulled a muscle. Better warm up, prepare, train, and try harder the next time.”

The bad words are

• didn’t give it my all
• not prepared
• I can’t because I am scared
• I can’t because I am lazy
• I won’t because it’s hard

Those are bad words – not “failure.”I love reading Brad Isaac’s thought’s on the subject.

I’ll tell you when I’ll stop. When it’s done.

I may not break through today, tomorrow or the next, but it will happen; one way or another. I hope it won’t take me 700 tries. But if it does then that means I’ve done something very few people can do…Persistence is what makes you and me different than others. Climbing to the other side of the mountain even though people say it’s “impossible” or “can’t be done” has got to be our specialty… one failure is ok, 100 failures is a whole lot better. If you don’t fail and fail a lot you probably aren’t stretching yourself. You aren’t creating, inventing or designing extraordinary results. Failing, and adjusting your actions and failing again is how success happens.

I don’t like having a “Plan B.” It makes me lazy, I second guess myself, I accept failure, and don’t act like my life depends on success. In a nutshell – it makes me weak.

I am a huge fan of preparation and planning. Weird huh? Not really. I plan for the best. While planning, I always ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” If the outcome and probabilty of the worst are acceptable to me, I move forward – Not because I have a “Plan B”, but because I am prepared for the failure of “Plan A.”

I guess this is the thought that comes through when I talk about the umbrella. This is also why I see Rocky’s loss in Rocky III as one of the best things that could have happened to him. It is the reason failure is not the end but giving up or never starting is.

I believe in relationships and personal interactions. That is my safety net. I am not an island. I am not independent. I am not self reliant. Does that sound weak? It’s not. It’s reality. It is a life full of people I depend on and depend on me.

The whole notion of Fallback is new to me (thanks to Pete). And I am not sure what it entails or how I feel about it.

But, I am certain…when you are packing the only chute you are going to jump out of the plane with, you are far more motivated to do it right.

Turn Around Tuesday

“Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now you gotta get it back, and the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning. You know what I mean?”- Apollo Creed, Rocky III

It’s been a while since my favorite quote giver of all time, Rocky Balboa, has made an appearance. And honestly, Rocky III is my least favorite. Hulk Hogan is some guy named Thunderlips, Mr. T is an exaggeration (is that possible?) of himself, Mickey dies, and Rocky loses a fight. Ugh!

However, it is the Rocky movie that embodies the greatness of the legacy – heart. Through out Rocky I & II, you get the impression that Rocky is “just that kind of guy.” That person who is born with drive, endurance, motivation. In Rocky III, we find that is just not true.

Rocky get comfortable. He begins to slack on his training, neglect his follow through, take his success for granted. He begins to think that just being Rocky Balboa is enough. His championship, his previous accomplishment, his current position – these things are comfortable places to hang his hat. Until he loses.

He is fortunate that he has a friend who cares about him enough to get real with him. He has lost his edge. He has forgotten his dedication to excellence. He has forgotten where he came from and what it took to get to where he wanted to be. He also had a friend that was willing to help him get it all back.

There is no doubt that we all have missteps. There are times when our decisions aren’t the best and our outcomes are worse. But, the mistakes aren’t the point. Our reaction to them is. Have we prepared with relationships? Have we readied ourselves with strength? Have we earned the benefit of the doubt with those around us?

Losses are not terminal – they are situational. In fact, I dare say that it is in these moments when we are afforded the opportunity to appreciate our true friends and realize our fullest ability. Take the time to thank those who always offer a hand, to do your best for those that make your life successful, and remember why it is you do what you do. It only takes a moment to rediscover the traits that make life great.

You Guys are the Best!

I totally missed Turn Around Tuesday’s six month anniversary two weeks ago. It’s hard to believe that you all have allowed me to come into your inbox every week, every Tuesday, and share my thoughts. Then many of you decide to join me on the web and continue the conversation there.

Thank you.

I wanted to take a minute to tell you all how much I appreciate your encouragement and well wishes. I am glad you have enjoyed it and I do my best not to let you down.

*Photo credit to The Blog Film

N – Narrating and Named

I cannot draw or sing or play an instrument.  I find these faults unfortunate, but have resigned myself to understanding that these are not my talents in life.  I seek solace in the fact that I am gifted with nouns and verbs.  I can tell a story – yours or mine.  I can, if correctly centered, paint with words. 

I love to read the stories of others.  I enjoy picking through semantics, finding details in the punctuation, word choice…endings.  Watching the words of others can keep me entertained for hours.  Hearing them sloppily placed, ill used, or haphazardly designed sends me reaching for a red pen.

I am consistently labeled.  “What is your bio?”  How often are we asked that question?  What do we say?  Wife, husband, mother, father, daughter, son, friend, realtor, banker, attorney, biker, boater, writer, loafer, dreamer…

These descriptive words aren’t terrible. In fact, many of them are wonderful.  However, if we aren’t incredibly careful, being named can limit your dreams.

Understanding Both is Important

Because I love the verbal nature of my brain, I am constantly narrating my own story in my head.  I dream big dreams and imagine huge accomplishments.  These visions usually have a name – and these names often create a canopy that set the height limits on my fantasies.  If I am going to be this thing, then this other thing I cannot do.  Or, I cannot do that within the confines of this.

It is important to know our own limits.  But, it is more important not to create ones for ourselves that are not actually there. 

How often do we get excited about the narration of our lives, only to be brought back down to earth prematurely by a name?

*Photo Credit to www.FreeFoto.com

It’s Woo Hoo Thursday

No, I am not rolling out a new series.  Not every Thursday will be Woo Hoo – but this one is.

First, I have gotten over the plague.  Ok, so maybe that’s a bit melodramatic – but just a bit.

Next, local photographer Andrea Hillis has graciously agreed to save me from stock photo land – well, at least help out.  You guys are gonna love her stuff.  Wanna take a peak?  Click here - go ahead, it’s great stuff.

Third, didn’t realize it, but Mr. Troy Worman (who so graciously named My Beautiful Chaos one of his ON! blogs) has another list of award winners. Making Life Work for You is an O! Blog. Thanks, Troy – you rock!

Lastly, Agent Genius has moved over to the dark side and invited some collaborators into his world.  Guess who got a gold ticket?  That’s right!  You will never believe who I am writing with.

• John Harper
• Lani Anglin
• Jonathan Dalton
• Kelley Koehler
• Daniel Rothamel
• Shailesh Ghimire
• Benn Rosales
• Carson Coots
• Kanye West….is that right?

So – Woo Hoo!!

Hope everybody else is having a great day – if not, lemme know, you can borrow some of mine

Turn Around Tuesday

“Ninety percent of this game is mental, and the other half is physical.”
- Yogi Berra, Baseball Hall of Famer

Yogi Berra is one of baseball’s legendary players. However, he may be just as well known for his funny misquotes. Remember the insurance commercial where the guy getting a hair cut says, “They give you cash which is just as good as money.” That’s him.

Some would say today’s quote is just another example of one of those times. Maybe so, but I choose to take it just the way it stands. If 90% is mental and the other half (90%) is physical – then we are giving 180%! Can you even begin to imagine?

Now, contrary to popular belief – I am not totally crazy. I do not believe that giving 180% all the time is a good idea. I have seen those people who have tried. It is not pretty or effective.

However, I am sure we can all agree that there is some point in time, some project, some person, some goal – that deserves 180%, even if just for a little while. And none could disagree that the situation would be better off for it.

Sound exhausting? Maybe – but I doubt it. I think many of us are yearning for an opportunity like this. The chance to go all out. I am willing to bet that the right focus coupled with a brief devotion of the 180% effort will feel better and more energizing than anything you’ve done in a long time.

Our motivation, while mental, gets exercise the same way our muscles do – by working it out. You can maintain your motivation by doing the things you typically do. However, getting that motivation highly effective and clearly defined takes a little more push. I encourage you to find that “push” today. I think you’ll like what you find.

Crosstown BNI Connections scheduled to Charter.

Many of you have heard me talk about the new chapter of BNI starting. Well, we have been working on it and the day is here.

Wednesday, October 10th, 11:30 A.M., at the Perkins on Hwy 204 and I-95, Crosstown BNI Connections will officially charter.

Never been to a BNI meeting? Looking for a BNI chapter to get involved in? Curious about the whole process? Stop on by or feel free to send me an email. I’ll be glad to answer all your questions.

*photo credit to philongames

Leadership Bryan County

But, before I get into Leadership Bryan County, I have an announcement to make.

It is true.  All the rumors, the whispers, the innuendo.  I am, in fact, a Nacho Blogger!

Thanks, Lani - you are awesome.  Now that we have quelled the suspicion, on to the topic at hand.

I promised yesterday I would tell you more about Leadership Bryan County since I got all excited about the Meyers-Briggs testing.  And I am – just not here…how about here instead.  Thought you might like a little taste (very little, this is my new baby) of where I am from.

ESTJ – Surprise, surprise!

Took a Meyers-Briggs personality test as part of the first class of Leadership Bryan County sponsored by the Bryan County Chamber of Commerce (get to that in a minute). I am an ESTJ. Big shocker (hear the sarcasm).

Not familiar with Myers-Briggs? That’s ok. They have a website. Go figure. The quotes are from there.

• Extrovert(E) or Introvert(I) – I got zero points in “Introvert.” I hear you snickering. The neat thing that I learned was you can’t trust someone’s outward appearance to judge their “E” or “I”. Someone can be very outgoing and social and be an “I”. Determining “E” or “I” is based on which situations give a person energy.
• Sensing(S) or Intuition(N) – Sensing focuses on “basic information.” Intuition “prefer to interpret and add meaning.” I used to be an “N.” The numbers are still very close. Reading through the material, it looks like this shift is a product of my busier life. Makes me a bit more bottomline-esque. Evidently, this is natural for a lot of people. Not necessarily this particular shift, but changes in general.
• Thinking(T) or Feeling(F) – Decision making is weighted first based on “logic and consistency” or “people and special circumstances.” These numbers aren’t incredibly close – I am a moderate “T”. Seems to me this is a good area to be balanced in for either type.
• Judging(J) or Perceiving(P) – I am a clear “J” and, at first, that hurt my feelings. But, the facilitator quickly explained that “judging” was not “judgemental.” I felt better. Thought I had just found another critical constraint. Better understood, Judgers “prefer to get things decided” and Perceivers “prefer to stay open to new information and options.” Ok – that’s me.

From the Meyers-Briggs site on overview of the ESTJ

Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans.

Hmmm. That reminds me of somebody I know….

If you decide to go over there and check out the site, you’ll see yourself in a few of the summaries. I happen to think that’s a good thing. I am a fan of balance. But, we had an excellent facilitator who explained the nuances of the personality types. Our group quickly understood that while they are many things, they prefer certain things, have a tendency towards certain behaviors and gain energy from certain situations.

Have you ever taken one of these? I’d love to hear your reactions. Never taken one? Do you see it as beneficial information you’d like to have or no?

*Guess I will have to get to the Leadership Bryan County thing in the next post…can’t take up all of your day

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