Making Life Work for You

Posted by April on June 10th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

- Amelia Earhart (1897-1937)

I thought I had used this quote before. I am glad I had not, because I would have used it again. Today, it is just what I need to hear, understand and remember. After 60+ TATs, I have learned that if I need it, someone else probably does too.

We spend a lot of time together talking about big dreams, big ideas and big goals. We would be remiss to overlook the need for a big decision. The single most important thing we, I, can do is get our, my, mind right. Once the decision is made, and made for real - down in your gut where all unmovable decisions are made, you are unstoppable. I am unstoppable.

Very often we allow fear to come in a play tricks on our mind. I love the characterization of fear as a “paper tiger.” That means I can dump it in a shredder and be on about my way. When we have set our minds to accomplishing big decisions and big goals, that action requires complete focus. We cannot afford to be distracted by or waste any of our resources on indecision, doubt or fear.

Today I want to encourage you to take out your paper tiger shredder and spend some quality time with it. While it may be difficult to prevent fear from ever popping up, we must remember that it must not be allowed to linger around our decisions. Remember that you are capable and ready to own those things that you have decided to accomplish. One other thing, it may be helpful to pick up the phone and encourage somebody else to do the same.

Patience and Participation

I want to take a minute to thank you all for all the encouragement during this time of growth and change. I used to envy the butterfly - the way it entered its cocoon and emerged transformed. I didn’t realize how much work that was!

There is still some envy there. How nice it would be to put myself away and focus on nothing but change and growth, not to come out until I was ready! But, there are still a host of other things that must be done at the same time.

Your patience while we get it all done and your participation in the pursuit is much appreciated. Keep it up! The deadline is fast approaching!

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Posted by April on June 3rd, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

“Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.”

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)

Today’s quote is one of the main reasons I don’t typically write TAT’s any earlier than the night before or the morning of. Had it not been for a conversation I had Monday evening, I may have very well picked a different quote. But after talking with Melissa Silva, owner of Alchemy, I knew the direction to take.

Funny how great friends can do that. They can put it all into perspective. They can sort through the mess you have been trying to unravel. Friends have the uncanny ability to point out the obvious in a situation we have been brooding over for weeks. Great friends are amazing.

So often, we leave our friends out of these situations. Whether the cause be pride, vulnerability, distaste of unloading on others or whatever, we can often find ourselves holding on to a lot of stuff we could let go of. In success, we are afraid of tooting out own horn. In distress, we are afraid of appearing weak. In defeat, we are afraid of of looking like a failure.

Today I want to encourage you take a minute and consider where you are misusing your friends. Have you hesitated conveying good news? Have you assumed them too busy to be a sounding board for a current obstacle? Have you considered them too successful to understand your misstep? I am guessing you are hoping your friends know you will be there for them through all of that. I am betting they would be more than happy to return the favor.

AWWIN is Looking for a Top Woman

It is that time of the year when A Working Woman in Need (AWWIN) starts taking nominations for the yearly Top Ten Working Women honorees.

AWWIN is a non-profit organization assisting under and unemployed women gain the training and skills they need to obtain the employment that will allow them to take care of themselves and their families. They aren’t asking for a hand out - they are looking for a chance to work hard to earn an opportunity.

If you are, or know, a successful business woman that deserves a little recognition, go to AWWIN’s website and fill out the form. Interested in attending or sponsoring the event? You can find all the information you need for that as well.

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Posted by April on May 27th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

” I don’t fear failure. I only fear the slowing up of the engine inside of me which is saying, “Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?” “- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

I am not crazy about failure. I am betting most of us aren’t. However, it has been my observation, at least with myself, that the fear of failure nearly always creates failure. However, the motivation to keep moving forward with a positive frame of mind will more likely bring about success. Interesting…

I had never heard of the movie Whale Rider until this week. As luck would have it, it was also playing on one of the movie channels. My husband and I watched as a little girl experienced both the love of a family and the ridicule of an ideology. She was sad, confused and hurt. Once, she almost gave up and left. Sometimes she cried and tried to understand the reasons. The entire time she held firm to who she was and the knowledge that she had a purpose only she could fulfill.

I remember turning to my husband and saying, “Can you imagine having that kind of inner strength?” I remember it because the thought has been lurking around since I said it. Why “imagine”? Why does the idea seem so lofty? Am I really so bent on approval that seeing that type of inner fortitude stuns me? Interesting…

Today I want to encourage you (and me) to take a quiet minute and consider your inner warrior. Remember that you are a powerful individual with the desire to move forward. You know who you are and what you are capable of - and if you don’t, I encourage you to commit to discovering those answers. Something tells me that type of strength, while amazing, is not out of reach.

Do you know a Busy Woman?

If you answered “no” to that question, I am going to gently suggest that you look around one more time. Most of us probably have a few (and the count goes up by 1 when my female readers remember to look in the mirror).

It is time to nominate your Busy Woman of the Year. Hosted by Savannah/ Richmond Hill Little Black Book, the Busy Woman of the Year Award looks to recognize some special women that make it happen. There is a great party scheduled for July (more details to come) and a prize package for the winner. Deadline for nominations are fast approaching.

You can find more information and a nomination sheet at The Little Black Book website.

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Posted by April on May 20th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

 ”Here’s the first thing you ought to know about me…I don’t believe my own press clippings.”- Jonathan Dalton, Realtor, Arizona

Something about today’s quote resonated with me. I found it yesterday, and still chew on it as I sit here knowing that I really need to hit “send” on TAT.

The obvious and historical lesson is to remember your humility. No matter how often you are touted by others, regardless of how great you may be - you are still a person like all of those around you. And I feel that from this quote. But that isn’t the vibe that caused me to choose it.

I feel strangely motivated by this quote. Perhaps it was the context in which I found it. Jonathan acknowledged his success and also his need to see the bigger picture and stay on the top of his game. I think we are getting a little closer.

Having the buzz surrounding you or your project is wonderful. That’s one way to become successful and effect change. In fact, in my line of work, the buzz is key. However, we must remember that we create the press - the press doesn’t create us. Put another way, you are only who you are for real - regardless of what others say.

Today I want to encourage you to remind yourself that you are who you are because that is who you are. Regardless of external influences, ideas of others or popular opinion - at the end of the day, the mirror still reflects you. Make sure you are living up to your values and standards - not those fabricated by someone else. The best truth is found in you.

You all ROCK!

Turn Around Tuesday is moving into it’s second week of a rather impromptu group think. If you missed last week, TAT is getting ready to undergo some pretty big changes. We are gearing up for a big launch and a lot of excitement. But, as always, none of this happens without you.

To recap…I am looking for

* feedback
  * your favorite quotes
  * topic suggestions
  * interesting stories concerning your personal experience with TAT

If you have any other questions, please feel free to let me know. Deadline is midnight (EST) Sunday, June 15, 2008.

I mentioned a prize…right now it is a boring little $25 gift card. If you have any ideas or suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.

Have I mentioned how much I appreciate you guys?

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Posted by April on May 13th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.” - Matthew 10:16, New American Standard Bible

Another season of Survivor has come to a million dollar conclusion. This season’s antics have been some of the most amazing since the show started. People who thought they were safe weren’t. People who thought they had made alliances hadn’t. One guy even got talked into giving up safety just to be voted out by those same talkers.

Interestingly enough, one of the players has been on back to back seasons. She mentioned that real life is a little difficult now - you just don’t know who to trust. Ya think? Living in a warped reality is bound to mess with your sense of awareness.

While it is not the middle of the jungle or the rain forest, I am betting many of us have experiences our own version of warped reality. Those moments, people, circumstances that affect our ability to move into a place where trust, goodness, hope and plain old optimism is welcome.

No one is going to downplay those situations that harden soft spots. I have been there. And to some extent, I am thankful for my toughness. However, it took some doing to balance that out with a gentle nature. And I could write for hours about that balance. Too much of one causes discontent and mistrust. Too much of the other creates a passive aggressive push over (ask me how I know).

Today I want to encourage you to check you balance. While no one would argue the abundance of unsavory characters, one would also not argue the plethora of wonderful people who come in and out of our lives everyday. Devote your time to those people and hope the best for the rest.

I really need your help - and there is a prize involved.

Turn Around Tuesday is getting ready to undergo a huge face lift. Lots of things have been involved in a bit of reconstruction. Right now, we are waiting on a website launch and then we will be ready to tell all!

Back to my point - I need your help. Here’s what you can do. Each time you contact me either by email or blog comment in regards to this TAT, that’ll be an entry. Each time somebody else does it because you forwarded them this email, that’s an entry. As you can see, you can enter as many times as you want.

What do you enter? I am looking for

• feedback
• your favorite quotes
• topic suggestions
• interesting stories concerning your person experience with TAT

It is that easy. Deadline is midnight (EST) Sunday, June 15, 2008. And remember

• please use “Turn Around Tuesday” as the email subject
• each email with new feedback material equals one entry
• each time a person emails because they heard about it from you equals an entry
• you can enter as many times as you want.

I am working on an interesting prize - if nothing else - you’ll get a $25 gift card.

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Posted by April on May 6th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

“I want you to thank a random person for doing their job, or for doing something that seems small. I know that this sounds silly, but I guarantee that if you do this enough times, it WILL make a difference to someone. Believe me.”- Theresa Marie, proudly serving our US Navy

Theresa is one of my dearest friends. Her quote above is one of the reasons why. That is just the way she is. It is darn near a TAT all by itself. Quotes like that make my job easy. Thanks, Theresa!

Have you noticed the declining abundance of gratitude? Maybe we are so accustomed to a variety of comforts that a situation has to be really extraordinary to elicit a response. Maybe it is the way we raise our kids. We teach children to say “Thank-you” because it is a display of good manners. Perhaps we should place value on gratitude and know that the good manners will be an off shoot of that. Maybe we are just becoming those kinds of people. Whatever the reason, it seems a call to gratitude, even if you already have it in your life, can’t be a bad thing.

Today I want to encourage you to seek out ways in which you can bring more gratitude into your life. Who do we overlook? Who are those people that we complain to the most? Where would a kind word be the biggest benefit? You’ll be amazed at the change you create in others and yourself.

Happy Mother’s Day

Allow me to get a bit sentimental for a moment. Sunday is Mother’s Day, after all.

First, I love being a mommy. It is a beautifully chaotic, wonderfully blissful rollercoaster of untypically typical. Sound crazy? Not if you’re a mommy. Mommies know just what I am talking about.

Second, even if she wasn’t my mom, she would still be my best friend. When things are good, bad or normal - she calls me and I call her. We disagree, we compare ideas, we discuss possibilities, She takes care of me and I hope she knows I would do anything for her.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day. If I could have picked any mom in the world - I would have picked you.

**Today’s quote was pulled from Theresa’s Myspace blog. But I won’t send you there. Instead, check out her brand new blog - The Reticent Butterfly

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Posted by April on April 29th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

“We must get beyond textbooks, go out into the bypaths and untrodden depths of the wilderness and travel and explore and tell the world the glories of our journey.” - John Hope Franklin, Professor

I almost saved this quote for another day. Seems like I should have a bigger trip to tell you about if I am going to use such a bold quote. Seems like it should at least require an airplane ticket. But, I am certain that is not what he meant.

I looked at the words of Professor Franklin for a long time. You should too. Chew on them for a bit and see what you taste. Something is telling me there will be different things for each person. I know what I see and I can pretty much bet that it isn’t the same as most. Neither is yours. Go ahead - look again.

I think the reason each of us will see a different message is due to the dynamic nature of the underlying call to action - have a free, complete thought, get out of your comfort zone and make somebody’s life better. That middle part is my favorite - go out into the bypaths and untrodden depths of the wilderness and travel and explore. As each of us walk on our own journey, there is always a nice footpath of typical. On either side you have paths not often taken. The trip off the beaten path can lead to those places you have always wanted to be, but never thought you would go.

Today I want to encourage you to challenge your own boundaries. Consider the things you don’t consider because they don’t fit into one of your “to-do” categories. Think on that idea you pushed back because it was “too big.” Recall that person you know needed a word of encouragement and give them a call. It’s not weird - it is human.

It’s Toastmasters Ya’ll

It is official. The Richmond Hill chapter of Toastmasters International has chartered. We are no longer a group attempting to get our legs about us. We are a full fledged organization. And it happened with exceptional timing.

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue declared the week of April 27 to May 3 Toastmaster Week in throughout the state. He must have known we were chartering and wanted to do something real nice to welcome us in.

I talk up Toastmasters a lot. Why? Being able to talk to 5 people or 5000 is an important skill. Unfortunately, it is often overlooked, mishandled or avoided. Toastmasters provides a great environment to hone that ability. There is lots of instruction, support and practice.

We would love to have you join us. We meet every Monday morning, 8:30am at Magnolia Manor. The coffee is hot and the company is phenomenal.

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Posted by April on April 22nd, 2008 in Life, Turn Around Tuesday

“One of the things that has helped me as much as any other, is not how long I am going to live, but how much I can do while living. ” - George Washington Carver (1864 - 1943)

NEWS ALERT - Life is finite. Even if time is infinite, our opportunity to occupy it in this life is not. Some of us are shocked by this revelation. Others of us know it all too well. All of us should consider the idea far more often.

Contrary to what logic would suggest, our positive impact on our surroundings is not directly proportional to the amount of time we were afforded to spend in it. There are many loved ones taken too soon, some before adulthood, whose brief encounter into our lives has left a fingerprint on our heart that is unquestionably life altering. Others, full of years, could not say the same.

The interesting thing is people will often get busy because of the shortness of the day, throw up their hands up at the lack of time or prioritize the trash out of a daily list of “to dos.” Few people fling their arms around the life that is theirs and commit to effecting change in the time they are allotted without reservation or guilt.

Today I want to encourage you to fling your arms around the life that is yours. Are you more/less busy, capable, resource ready - whatever - than somebody else? Who cares? You are uniquely equipped to do that thing which you were created to do. And it is in that thing where you effect the change you always wanted to see. Embracing the time that is now is far more effective than chasing after the time not promised or harboring guilt of time lost. The best way to honor the past and the future is with an exceptional now.

Special Message from Deborah Crespo

With well over a million cases of cancer diagnosed each year, chances are that you know someone personally affected by this disease.

For my husband, Alberto, this chance became a reality 10 years ago when he met my father. Their relationship grew from “The Talk” on the porch with my husband as the new son-in-law, and continued with discussions about the similar, “unique” personalities of their wives.

In 2002, my father’s battle with cancer ended. My husband carries on the fight each year in the American Cancer Society Relay For Life®. This event is about celebration, remembrance and hope, as well as, to raise money to help fight cancer.

He participated in the Relay For Life® this past Friday, however; you can still make a donation. The hope I have in supporting this effort is that another wonderful husband, somewhere, will not have to walk in honor of his father-in-law’s memory, but instead continue to have the privilege to walk with him side by side.

To make a donation in support of Alberto Crespo in the Relay for Life® visit the website: Educate yourself and find resources about cancer at the American Cancer Society’s website.

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Posted by April on April 20th, 2008 in Development

I had the incredible opportunity to hear Sandra Yancy, founder of eWomen Network, talk at one of our recent events. I can’t even begin to tell you how inspiring, motivating, uplifting, phenomenal (keep inserting great adjectives here) the whole thing was. She was funny, easy to listen to, unassuming and, most importantly, real.

She spoke of The Little Engine that Could. I’ll do a full post on that as soon as my copy gets here. That was an eye opener in itself.

She spoke of being almost broke. She talked about the perseverance it took to make it through.

She talked about the need for other people and the importance of relationships.

She is also of the opinion that “fake it ’til you make it” is utter crap.

Record screeches

Huh? Isn’t this the mantra that all self confident, newly emerging folks live by? Isn’t this the mind set that is required to exude confidence and be that person in the room that people want to know and be known by? How can this be wrong?

We have all heard it…fake it ’til you make it. You have the world by the tail and if you don’t the only person that needs to know that is you. Right?

No - how on earth are you going to get the support, mentorship and guidance you need if no one knows that you are going through hard times? You have to let people know when things are wrong so you can get the help you need to get it back on track. Right?

No - this, as in most things, has, in my opinion, a truth that lies somewhere in the middle. That “middle truth” happens to hand in hand with another truth I believe in - everyone needs a safe place to bleed.

It is true that some people

• want to know, associate with and do business with successful people.
• want to help and assist those who are falling on tough times.
• will eat the weak.
• nourish the poor.

Therefore, seems to me that application of this “fake it ’til you make it” idea is situational.

There are times when total confidence, even in the face of total defeat, is a necessity.

There are times when one must unload the weight, ask for help carrying it and collaborate for way to make it lighter.

The trick is differentiating between the occasions.

Questions

• Do you fall on one of the two sides or in the middle?
• How do you know when either approach is appropriate?
• Do you think the strategy changes depending on the size of the market or the makeup of the business community (i.e. working in New York City versus Small Town USA)

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Posted by April on April 15th, 2008 in Turn Around Tuesday

This Turn Around Tuesday is dedicated in loving memory to Gregory Cross. He is my friend in life and the thereafter.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.”

- Helen Keller (1880-1968)

They say things happen in threes. They also say they are “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” That statement suggests that things happen in pairs. I am betting most of us have had times where things happen in bushels, tons, and in quantities measurable only by stars in the galaxy numbers. Two’s and three’s would be cake. We like cake.

Unfortunately, we don’t get to schedule strife, chaos, unforeseen or surprise. Those guys have already hacked into your datebook and can pencil themselves in whenever they want to. Sometimes they just effect your world at large. Other times it is just business. Occasionally, they get real personal. It gets to be a true test of character when they orchestrate the epic trifecta that encompasses all three and seems to last forever.

Today I want to encourage you to laugh, cry, sing, dance, run, sleep, shout. Do any of these expressives regardless of whether those around you feel it is “appropriate.” There is no doubt that sometimes it just feels like “too much.” But, as long as we are still breathing, there is still hope. I challenge you to take full advantage of that hope, turn your day around and take somebody with you. The best thing that can come out of a Tuesday is a better Wednesday.

6000 Women Hand Up

A Working Woman in Need (AWWIN) will be hosting the first Capital Campaign Kickoff for “The 6000 Woman Hand up Challenge” on next Friday, April 18 at the Coastal Georgia Center in room 115 at 6:00PM.

The kickoff is free and open to the public - men and women alike. There will be light refreshments and maybe a few surprises. Media partner, Skirt Magazine, is getting the word out and donor lists are getting ready to appear on the AWWIN website.

AWWIN is also gearing up for their Third Annual Father’s Day Golf Tournament presented by Skirt Magazine on June 13th. The tournament, along with “Savannah’s Top Ten Working Women of The Year” Awards Gala on September 12, is part of this year’s “Hand Up” Challenge.”

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